Post by elliott isabelle priestly on Jun 27, 2009 0:54:26 GMT -5
•CAPRICE EMLYN PRIESTLY,
She's slammed nineteen shot glasses down
and whispered silently, kiss me slowly to my death.
the space between our calm and rage
started growing shorter disappearing slowly day after day
i was sitting there waiting in my room for you
you were waiting for me too and it makes me wonder
the older i get will i get over it
it's been way too long for the times we missed
i didn't know it would hurt like this
__________________
-- november 18, 1989
-- nineteen
-- 5'6"
-- 112 lbs.
-- lavender tinted grey
-- brunette
-- Caprice has quite a few small, fainted scars from her mother's abuse toward her when she was a toddler. She's removed some of the scars with surgery, however, some still remain on her body, reminding her of the painful memories of her past.
-- Caprice has both of her ear lobes pierced twice, as well as one piercing on her right cartilage. She has a tattoo of a scorpion on the small of her back.
• SUSPECT,
sophisticated, childish, humorous, sarcastic, manipulative, creative, intelligent, perverted, stubborn, loyal, honest, perky, realistic, down to earth, organized, moody, messy, crazy, intuitive, adventurous, hyper, mellow, bitchy, sweet, helpful, self absorbed, flirtatious, competitive, temperamental, consistent, persuasive
• PATTERN,
coffee, dance, music, candles, rain, fashion, natural disasters, candles, tea with milk and hunny, apples with peanut butter, eating healthy, incense, exercising, pie and cupcakes, jewelery, costume jewelery, shoes, accessories, water, social events, social drinking, photography, traveling, art, museums, aquariums, essential oils, poetry, novels, body sprays, showers, beaches, all of the seasons for different reasons, photography
• MOTIVE,
spiders, clowns, slimey, sticky, mushy, soggy, insects, bugs, memories of my past, unfaithfulness, racism, prejudice, abortions, plans, preppy princesses, stuck up bitches, conceited people, lame brained jocks, animal abuse, bullying, mornings
• FREEDOM,
intelligence, persuasive, her father, her cousin, physical strength, reading people, street smart, bilingual, dancing, organization, rational, artistic, logical, can fix automobiles, good with her hands, quick on her toes, speedy, witty
• HANDCUFFED,
Her mother, her father's death, falling in love, making plans, spending daddy's money, the scars remaining on her body that constantly remind her of her haunting past, the mask of smiles and perfection she wears, replacing her heartbreaking reality with rainbows and butterflies, being well put together, letting her emotions build up
• JAIL TIME,
dancing, running, soccer, photography, parties, shopping, hanging out with friends, movie nights, exercise, clubbing, horseback riding, playing guitar, playing bass, playing piano, throwing french fits when she is upset, makeovers, trips to the spa, drinking with friends, painting her toe nails when she is upset, straightening her hair, getting her nails done, singing in the shower, singing into a hair brush, kareoke, dancing around in her underwear when getting dressed in the morning, drinking coffee, going on adventures during spontaneous moments
• INVESTIGATION,
As cliche as this may sound, i was born on a rainy, autumn night while dark clouds hovered overhead, flashes of light danced in the sky and thunder roared in applause.
My father was the best doctor in Paris, France. In fact, I believe they called him a diagnostician, and as you can imagine, my family was quite wealthy, and I grew up watching my father save lives every day. I quickly became daddy's little girl and he became my best friend, but as white as our picket fence may have seemed from the outside, our family was far from perfect.
I was only two when my mother's symptoms of postpartum depression really began to show, and while my father prescribed her medication, he couldn't have known that she would have refused to take it while he was running around at work. Daddy became a stranger to me, and my mother became the person who would disconnect the light from my happy and light world.
I was two and I had already endured more physical pain than my the average human had in their whole life. My mother blamed her depression on me. She labeled herself a horrible mother, and blamed me for being conceived in the first place. I remember waddling away from her with pigtails in my hair trying to escape the next burn, cut or bruise. I remember hiding in the darkest corner of my closet while she screamed at me, yelled at the top of her lungs that it was my fault that she never spent any time with the love of her life anymore. I became the reason why he had to work more hours. It was my fault that they needed more money. She would insist I wasn't worthy of supporting, I wasn't worthy of their attention, love or time. I remember sitting in that dark closet where she couldn't find me sobbing silent sobs until my father came home.
The pain and abuse continued for a few more months before my father began to grow ill, spending more time at home, and it was then he began to notice the bruises, the burns and every last cut. I remember him forcing me to tell him who'd hurt me, and just when I thought my life would be okay again, I fond myself sitting in that dark closet again, this time crying not so silent sobs as daddy yelled at mommy, throwing things against the wall.
Mommy went away that year, and daddy spent less time at work to focus on getting better and to take care of me. He told me over and over again that none of it had ever been my fault. He had always assured me that mommy had been sick, and that I was his angel.
The nightmares remained, but life became brighter again, and daddy became my best friend again.
Daddy got better in time, and life went on. Of course, I grew to be your typical teenager, both rebellious and wild, but I remained responsible through it all, and enjoyed my childhood.
I wish I could tell you my life was even fairly more interesting than that, but life is only seemingly perfect and ordinary for so long, right?
My father passed away when I was seventeen, and in an attempt to escape the nightmares of my past, I moved to the United States, New York City to be more specific. Not only could I start a life where no one knew me, but I could be closer to my cousins, and my aunt.
I've been living here for two years now, and upon moving here, met my long term boyfriend, Maxwell. We've been together for a year and two months now, and while I'm petrified to fall in love in fear of turning into my mother, I've found close friendship with him, and I really have to say, that life hasn't failed me as of late.
I'm currently a sophomore in New York University, and I am studying both dance, and psychiatry. Other than that, I'm just a normal girl living one day at a time, and trying to survive.
• PUBLICITY,
My mother is still alive, but I tell every one she passed away when she was giving birth to me because its easier than revisiting my past and feeling all of the pain all over again.
how can i decide what's right?.
when you're clouding up my mind.[/font][/i]
i cant win you're losing fight[/size][/b][/color]
all the time.[/font][/i]
-----♥-----[/size]
RIIIIIING!
That was it, the indication that fourth period had begun, and while most of the seniors who had study hall this period wasted no time in escaping the jail that bind them here every day for nine and a half months. Most of them would hop in their cars and go for an hour long joy ride, and some would run off to the library to study, yet others would simply head off to the courtyard to catch some fresh air and enjoy the warm weather Australia had to offer.
While Caprice would have usually been using the opportunity to spend time with Decklen or Summer, or even sun bathe in the courtyard or on their schools stadium field, she found herself with a trouble mind and heart pacing back and forth in front of classroom number two hundred and forty.
She'd never quite understood how they'd come up with the numbers for the classrooms in this school, but today, the big, black, bold numbers painted on every wooden door lining the empty hallways was the last thing on her mind. Instead, memories of her summer's past flooded her mind, between sweet kisses and steamy, foggy sexual intercourse. They'd had dinner, lunch, and breakfast together, walked along the beach holding hands, spent lazy afternoons watching movies or playing video games, and on endlessly romantic and perfect nights they would spend their time getting to know everything about each other. Their fling had been her ideal vision of a relationship, and when the summer was over, she was called back home into the loving arms of her boyfriend, and he was called back to work. Never had she expected to see Maxwell Read in her first period English class..teaching the class!
Caprice's heels clicked against the marble floor as she took deep breaths, one right after another, attempting to calm her racing heart and ease her nerves.
"This can't happen.."
She nodded her head in agreement with herself, taking another deep breath before continuing, still pacing outside of the empty classroom, the classroom she knew he was sitting inside of creating a curriculum or putting together a homework assignment.
"He's a teacher..and you're his student..and you didn't know!"
It had sounded more convincing in her head than it had out loud in the empty hallways. It was consoling to know that he had been just as surprised to see her, however, as she had been to see him.
Caprice played over the past few months events in her head. She still couldn't understand how she'd missed it, how she hadn't known he was a teacher at her school. Neither of this had seen this coming, and while Caprice wasn't big on surprises, she was big on fairy tales, fate and serendipitous occurrences.
Picking her feet up, the feisty brunette began pacing back and forth again, her heels echoing throughout the bare hallways as she desperately attempted to organize her thoughts, make any sense out of the situation at all. She was scared out of her wits at the moment.
Caprice had always known her heart belonged to Decklen. Their group of friends had hung out together since grade school or longer, and while she hadn't truly known Decklen until seventh grade, she'd known at hello that he would be the one to take care of her for the rest of her life through drunken rages and sincere moments. It wasn't long until the two hit it off, becoming best friends, and eventually, lovers.
Now, with the cheating mess he'd created, she'd drowned her sorrows in shots of whiskey and beers. leading her to Max, a rebound man she'd never believed she'd see again, and while she could have wished away the memories, pretended none of it had ever happened to subside her guilty conscience, she would have been lying to herself, she would have been untrue to her heart which had become completely infatuated with him. He was everything she'd been wishing for and more.
"Ugh!"
She groaned, sliding her back against the wall before plopping down on the ground, running her hands through her hair out of frustration. She couldn't believe this was happening, and at the same time, she couldn't completely say she was sorry it had.
"Mr. Read.."
Caprice wrinkled her nose up at the sound of the name the man had given to his class today. It had made him sound so old, and it made her feel uncomfortable thinking of him with the title mister. She'd grown so used to Max that any other title sounded odd belonging to him.
"Oh boy.."
Oh boy was right and she was ready to give in. What exactly she was giving into was unclear at the moment.
all the things she said, all the things she said
running through my head, running through my mind, running through my head
all the things she said, all the things she said
running through my head, all the things she said
this is not enough
Caprice lifted herself from the ground taking one more deep breath before placing her hand on the silver knob of the heavy, wooden door, but she paused again, biting her bottom lip gently. Her heart had begun pounding again, and she couldn't believe she was about to do this. Half of her knew she had to for his sake, and for hers. She had to be strong, fight against her weak, and fragile teenage heart to protect both of them.
i'm in serious shit, i feel totally lost
if i'm asking for help, it's only because
being with you has opened my eyes
could i ever believe such a perfect surprise?
Slowly turning the knob to the door, she felt paralyzed, her whole being growing numb as she tried to center herself from having been torn between two different worlds.
i keep asking myself, wondering how
i keep closing my eyes, but i can't block you out
wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
nobody else, so we can be free
There wasn't any other time, there was a here and now, and this couldn't wait any longer. Biting harder onto her bottom lip, a look of pain crossed her face as she looked over her shoulder one last time to make sure they'd be alone. and when she was almost positive they were, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and prayed for a miracle.
all the things she said, all the things she said
running through my head, running through my head, running through my head
all the things she said, all the things she said
running through my head, running through my head, all the things she said
this is not enough, this is not enough
Dodging into the classroom in a quick and swift motion as if she were a government spy lurking around the building, Caprice practically slammed the door behind her, quickly straightening her posture and smiling sweetly towards the charming brunette.
"Hi.."
She waved her hand in an over dramatic gesture before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. This was unreal, facing the man she'd spent all summer infatuated with in an awkward face to face.
i'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
they say it's my fault but i want her so much
wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
come in over my face, wash away all the shame
Her cheeks were a pale pink color as she tried connecting the perfect words she had up in her head with the words that would roll off of the tip of her tongue, and as she struggled with the adjustment, she remained silent, a pain stricken look on her face.
She never spoke, instead, she stood struggling with the temptation to march up to him and press her lips against her, but there's only so long you could fight temptation.
when they stop and stare, don't worry me
cause i'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
i can try to pretend, i can try to forget
but it's driving me mad, going out of my head
Caprice let go of everything in that moment, including her strength and independence, and in the heat of the moment, looking into his coffee shaded eyes, she marched right up to him, placed her hands on either side of his face and kissed him, her lips pressing firmly against his. She needed it back, the warmth he brought when he held her in his arms, and the weakness that surged throughout her body every time their lips met in a passionate embrace.
She couldn't get herself together, she was soaking in the pain of all of it, and while she allowed herself to continue kissing him, her mind race back to thoughts of Decklen. She'd promised him he'd had her heart all along, but it was a lie. The truth was, her heart was drifting, and while this couldn't possibly work, she still felt herself losing grip on the realty she'd just found was a lie.
Pulling back, she took a step back, looking, boldly, and directly into his eyes.
"I'm sorry.."
Tears formed in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She felt terrible for having lied to him.
"I am so sorry for having lied.."
She paused, collecting her thoughts and taking a deep breath before speaking again.
"I shouldn't have, but you can't deny what we felt.."
She said it without hesitation, knowing he'd felt as completely infatuated with her as she'd been with him. Everything they'd had was completely, and undeniably real.
"that doesn't change just because of this..how old I really am, and who we are.."
She was one hundred percent positive in every word she spoke, but she'd lost track of why she'd truly come into the classroom, and when she'd organized herself enough to remember, the pain started all over again, butterflies quickly multiplying and fluttering in her stomach while she grew nauseous and a lump formed in her throat.
"If I had known..I would have stopped it so it wouldn't come to this..Max.."
Max. As accustomed as she'd become to calling him by that name, it sounded so inappropriate in their current position, standing in a classroom. She started her sentence over, finding the strength to carry her through her words, grudgingly speaking them.
"Max, I just don't think this would be good for either of us."
She stood strong to back her words up, although any one in their right mind could see how weak she truly was under all of it. She didn't want to speak them. She wanted him to push his papers aside and lay her on his desk before taking complete control of her.
"You have your career to look at and I have.."
She paused, not believing at first, the words that were about to come out of her mouth. As much as she loved Decklen, and as terrible as she'd felt about all of this, she couldn't bring herself to believe that Decklen was the one any more.
"my relationship...."
She twisted her lips in an unpleasant form, looking down to the ground, folding her arms across her chest, praying he wouldn't take a word she'd just said seriously. Praying he wouldn't believe her. Caprice could only hope that right now would be the moment some one called her out on a bluff.
mother, looking at me
tell me what do you see?
yes, i've lost my mind
daddy, looking at me
will i ever be free?
have i crossed the line?
word count: 2025
outfit: clickety.
credit: haley loser face ` at caution 2.0 for the template, boo for banner.
status: complete.
jams: decode >> paramore
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My name is boo and I have been role playing for nine years. My other characters are shiloh and brody. I consider myself a novelist roleplayer and I found Intoxicated Lullabies on i own this, kid.
